Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
