i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
