If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
