I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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