he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
