In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
