How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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