what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
