Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
