How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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