Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
