Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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