What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
