You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Randomize
