I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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