this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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