i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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