Im at strip club and am horny
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
