everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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