Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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