fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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