question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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