How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so let's talk penis.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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