once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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