i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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