doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
