I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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