I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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