I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
