By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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