My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
