i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
