"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
