So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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