i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
