nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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