Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
