I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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