he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
