He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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