if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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