they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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