Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
