you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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