I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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