is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
