Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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