I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
