operation harelip BJ is a go
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
