at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
